Drink green tea, do yoga, take a cold shower. These are just some of the self care tips to wane anxiety I’ve been relentlessly trying to implement into my life. Let’s be real…the cold shower didn’t stick.
I’ve found myself getting sucked into the click bait of how to deal with life in 2020. Constantly looking for an answer, for a fix, for a “best practice.” If I just followed a routine every morning, if I just got on that exercise bike for 30 minutes a day, if I just…got dressed, somehow life would be better. Since this pandemic started, I’ve been trying to find the meaning in this. I needed to find the meaning.
If there was a free moment, I was opening my phone to Instagram. I was desperate for what I thought was connection. I needed to see my friends, my family, I needed to know what was going on outside my window.
While on Instagram, I found myself stuck amongst three things: a past I missed, a future I longed for, and a questioning and comparing of my present.
It’s been really easy this year to worry. To feel like you’re not being productive enough, like your life is on hold and you are somehow incapable of change. At one point I probably could have convinced myself I was the personal target of all of this. But this repetitive loop is draining us of mental and emotional energy when we need it the most. The more energy we spend analyzing the past or worrying about the future, the less energy we have for what’s right in front of us.
Wanting, wishing, hoping — these are not inherently bad things, but they’ve taken on a new level of dominance in our lives this year. We spend more energy idealizing a future when this is all over then we do experiencing the present moment.
The only time I’ve felt true peace since March are moments of presence. Moments where you are so immersed in an activity, you allow your mind to be still and focus only on what is happening now.
“When you worry, ask yourself, ‘What am I choosing to not see right now?’ What important things are you missing because you chose worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom?” — Ryan Holiday
It’s the moments I’m in awe of giant red rocks carved into place over the course of 150 million years. When I’m sucked into a good book and I look up and hours have passed. When I’m laughing so hard with a friend, my belly tightens. These are moments of presence, of REAL connection. Connection to our planet, our humanity, our people.
We cannot control the situation right now. All we can control is our perspective. We create a lot of our own suffering in our mind. We think negative thoughts, react emotionally, we fail to appreciate the good we still have in front of us. If we can create the suffering, we can create the joy with acceptance, perspective, and compassion — not only for others, but for ourselves.
One of my favorite things to remember to center myself is that the moon you’re going to look at tonight is the same moon you looked at when you were a kid, and think of where you are. It’s the same moon you’ll look at when you’re 70. Our world is beautiful and painful, incredible and challenging, but if we seek out these moments of presence, of stillness — we have the power.
Quarantine Reads:
Stillness is The Key — Ryan Holiday
The Book of Joy — Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Abrams
The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown
Untamed — Glennon Doyle
Runners-Up:
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life — Héctor García and Francesc Miralles
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment — Eckhart Tolle
Maybe You Should Talk To Someone — Lori Gottlieb
